I just read the blog Lifetwo linked to today for the latest BloggingBoomers Carnival (see below). It’s the entertaining story of one man’s experience dating after the end of a long marriage. In other words dating in midlife, which the author lovingly describes as: Picking one’s poison: Waterboarding or being a middle-aged man trying to date
WOW, it never ceases to amaze me how much trouble some men have dating! I must have been majorly brainwashed sometime really early that men love to “play the field” and never, ever, want to “settle down.” I thought they all had that infamous “Baby, baby don’t get hooked on me” syndrome, at least most of the ones I met in my younger days!
Now, come to find out at the ripe old age of 53, most men hate dating as much as I did! I really tried not to hate it! I even started my own matchmaking service to ease the process for my clients, you know, try to make it fun and a little less stressful.
When dating, I always tried telling myself I might just make some new friends, but it inevitably became difficult or at least uncomfortable at some point in time!
When I finally met Mike, I knew my dating days were over (at least for a while) and he told me horror stories of the many bad experiences he’d had working through various “dating services.” He was so shy he simply could not go up to a woman and introduce himself. He used dating services because at least when he met a woman this way, he knew she was truly interested in dating, so it gave him a little bit more self-confidence and reassurance.
I guess dating is something we all must go through at some point in life, and it don’t get any easier when we’re old farts!
July 23, 2008 at 12:42 am |
I’m trying this dating in my 50’s thing and I find it extremely difficult.
I passed through the normal stages of dating, marriage, kids, house in suburbia with a dog, career, etc. and at the end of it all, after the divorce, I was very unhappy with where I found myself, empty.
I think I understand now that I seek a level of Spiritual Intimacy, that I can openly share with an other. Slim pickin’s so far, but it only has to work right once to make it all worth while.
I’m hoping! 9-)
Brad
July 23, 2008 at 6:26 pm |
A friend and fellow blogger on datingisweird.com wrote a recent entry about dating in mid-life that was so unbelievably out there I didn’t believe it at first. I was hoping that dating maybe got easier as I aged, but now I’m a bit fearful. But you gave good advice, “I always tried telling myself I might just make some new friends,” which is probably the best attitude towards dating in general.
Thanks for your well-written post!
-All us datingisweird.com bloggers.
July 23, 2008 at 7:47 pm |
“Dating is weird” pretty much says it all, doesn’t it.
Talk about a crap shoot…you pay your money and you take your chances.
It can turn out marvelous or it can disappoint you just about every time!
July 23, 2008 at 10:15 pm |
I keep going back to the Intenet hoping to connect once again the way I did once 12 years ago (this was before web sites & all we have now).
I met someone, we dated for several years and eventually separated as our Life’s Path took us in different directions.
We’ve sayed in touch ever since, through the highs and lows, and have been an emotional sounding board for each other.
So, even though we’ve traveled separate paths, we have stayed connected at a true, heart felt level. We’ve both grown through the experience.
Love Wins!
Brad
September 15, 2009 at 10:00 pm |
Even in my younger days I hated dating. It hasn’t gotten better. I’ve been divorced for many years. I’ve had a few long-term relationships. On the dating scene again for the last 3 years. Met someone I knew previously (obviously a plus), liked (another plus) but was going through a divorce which was ongoing for several years. I am attractive, intelligent and basically just want someone to share life with. Even at this point in life it seems too difficult. Now, “starting over” is huge. First you have to deal with the financial obligations of your family, the kids (even if they are almost adults), and then add to that the obligation of caring for an aging parent. Very little room left for anyone else and certainly less than a little energy. And yet, at the same time someone else may come along who doesn’t even have the good qualities but all the baggage. It becomes horribly tiring and frustrating and I long for simple.