Everywhere I go I meet so many interesting and COOL older singles who are losing hope in ever finding true love again. My words to you are: DON’T GIVE UP!
By running a matchmaking service for older singles, I learned that there are SO MANY COOL adults looking for love later in life. More than you could possibly imagine!
Your best proof that you could meet someone great TODAY is this simple fact: You are single and look how amazing you are! There must be others just like you wondering how the hell to connect with cool singles. So many of us have become so jaded and cynical in the face of love. We need to begin to error on the side of optimism and find a way to believe in love again!
Have you ever heard the expression, whatever you focus on grows? Instead of giving up in your own mind and heart, instead of convincing yourself to lose hope, try putting your heart and soul behind the idea that the love of your life is JUST AROUND THE CORNER!
I know of what I speak. Probably NOBODY could have convinced me that I was about to meet the man I had been hoping to meet forever, the day I met Mike almost four years ago. But I had been putting my heart and soul out there for quite a while before that happened.
First of all, I DID start a dating service! I did spend lots of time interviewing eligible women and men. And I even took what felt like a gigantic risk when I called a past lover to clear out my own love drain pipes from past disappointment and pain.
How could you prepare to meet the love of your life today? How could you focus more positively on how it will feel when you KNOW you’ve just met THE ONE? How could you work today on removing all the obstacles in your own brain and heart to believing that this could really happen?
I have a suggestion. Before I met Mike, I made a point of listening to music that was totally positive about love. I saw it as a sign when great love songs came on the radio. That’s one way to control your brain waves unconsciously.
I can highly recommend most Stevie Wonder songs, but my own personal favorite is: BRING ME A HIGHER LOVE! by Steve Winwood. In fact his whole album “BACK IN THE HIGH LIFE” is the essence of positive love vibes.
Make some small investment today in your future happiness! Buy some music that makes you feel great, you know, the way it feels to be in love!
“Without music, life would be a mistake.” -Nietzsche
November 14, 2008 at 1:31 pm |
Put your intentions out there. Ask. Have a positive mindset and if you have already found personal happiness it will happen.
November 14, 2008 at 7:14 pm |
Thanks Candace!
Ain’t that the truth! -The Queen
November 23, 2008 at 8:01 pm |
Laura,
Something inside me responded with excitement when I read “Bring Me a Higher Love!” Having given in to the reality of a probable loveless, partner-less life sometime around 1987, when the pain and disability caused by a mountain of illness declared violent war on my yearning for someone to send my future with, I admit that I had lost all excitement, all hope.
But, reading your post sparked that something in me and reminded me about those many nights spent either in dance clubs with exhilarating music and handsome professional men adoring me, or the more frequent times spent snuggling my partner as we enjoyed music that inspired and related to us.
Nowadays, I realize that I’ve allowed my disability and pain to be my partner, my lover, my confidant, all to the exclusion of any man who might come along. I hide behind the weight I’ve gained because my pain is so intense at times that cannot get out of bed or leave the house–even for commitments that I care deeply about.
All the while, I mourn the loss of any kind of meaningful love relationship. I ask myself and the universe…why? I try to understand how I can be someone so filled with love to share, who enjoyably gives–almost to the point of heartache–to whoever is my partner; why has this become my fate? Being a realist more so than someone with her head in the clouds; I’ve just dealt with it. Until now.
Now, hearing the words “Bring Me a Higher Love” mosey around my head, it is clear that the only one who can repair my life is me. I need to recognize that the part of me that is truly disabled is the part that allows me to love myself.
Now, oddly hearing the words of the worst president in American history, someone who is dumber than my dog (my bumper sticker informs me of this); BRING IT ON.
Ar Foster
November 24, 2008 at 6:35 pm |
I am going to try this, the music thing. Thanks for the idea.
November 24, 2008 at 9:52 pm |
I did a presentation last week at an independent living establishment. There were two couples who were ‘dating.’ It was really nice. We talked about how younger people think that older people are different, but they still want love, friendship, companionship, togetherness.
December 14, 2008 at 6:04 pm |
I am reading this article at a time, in my fifties, when I am about to declare myself to a man who I turned down many years ago. He has always felt like a loose thread. My reasons at the time were complicated but I always regretted it. So, now, almost 20 years later, I’m sending him an invitation to give it a try. He comes with lots of baggage, as do I, but hell, time is a wastin’ and thinking about him, alone, with so much potential, just kills me. Time to risk. Time to live. I’ll let you know how it turns out.
December 14, 2008 at 6:54 pm |
Sophie:
YOU GO GIRL!!!
I’m pulling for ya….the Queen
December 17, 2008 at 4:26 pm |
I think I read somewhere lately: “If you are miserable, you must like it”. Certainly, we have all experienced disappointments in our past as we move through the natural progression in Life towards Spiritual Consciousness and away from our society’s secular consumerism. But these experiences are not punishments for poor decisions but an opportunity to adjust our sails for a more efficient journey. The lyrics in a song, the words in a book, a knowing glance in the check out line, a handclasp in meeting someone, all invite me in the direction I want to go. Eckhart Tolle in his book “Awakening to Your life’s Purpose” says “The modalities of awakened doing are acceptance, enjoyment and enthusiasm”. make sure you are engaged in at least one of them when doing anything at all.
It’s all a blessing or a lesson.
Enjoy the journey.
Brad
December 17, 2008 at 4:33 pm |
Thanks Brad…what a lovely holiday lesson for everyone. Laura Lee
April 7, 2009 at 7:43 pm |
Thank-you for this blog entry. I have that album. I’m going to make copies and have them every where I can play music.
I’m 52, never been married and just recently got jerked around by an old boyfriend… for the second time. My complete feeling of hopelessness made me susceptible to his game.
I will try to hope again.
April 8, 2009 at 7:28 pm |
Hang in there Pat! A higher love is on the way….
April 9, 2009 at 2:37 pm |
Thank-you for the encouragement, Laura Lee.