Let your best self start shining through!

January 31, 2009

The secret to positive midlife transformation, is the slow, gentle process of falling in love with yourself all over again.  We probably all remember a time when we were very young and found ourselves simply delightful. This was long before the world told us to quit being so full of life.  Much like my new puppy, every new thought and action seemed exciting, like a first discovery, and the world was our oyster!

Crazy as it may sound, you can actually recapture that feeling in the midst of a midlife depression. After acknowledging your grief over the many disappointments of life and aging, try turning a new leaf. Begin putting all of your energy into remembering how optimistic and cool you used to be, and then add on to that how amazing you have become over the past 30 or 40 years.

What happened to that kid who loved him/herself so much? The world happened. We had to learn all the rules and reasons why we couldn’t allow our true selves to blossom at that particular point in time. Well, guess what? It’s high time for your best self to start shining through…in fact it’s now or never!

For me, this was a time of rediscovering all the positive, creative things I loved to do, but had not done in ages, things like watercolors, writing poetry, walking my dogs in beautiful, natural settings, and redecorating my house in all my favorite colors. I also kept a journal where I focused on what was great about me, instead of my old pattern of complaining about what a mess I was.

With divorce and unemployment I lost a lot of “security” but gained a wonderful new sense of freedom. Now I truly could do anything I wanted…who was there to stop me? Luckily I had months of severance and unemployment checks to free me up for a time, and help me decide what was next.

My point: you get to choose what happens next, and no one else can choose for you. I recommend the path of self-respect and love over the path of negativity and destruction.