Letting go vs. trying to make things happen

January 20, 2009

I was raised to believe that you are the only one who can make things happen in your life.  You are in charge, and if your life does not go as hoped for, you are at fault.  If you are not getting the results you want, change the plan.

But lately I have been having a hard time finding that kind of simple, results- oriented mind set satisfactory.  I sometimes wish I could believe in some sort of greater being who controls the world, someone we can simply pray to in order to change our life.  However, that just does not fly for me.

I’ve been also thinking a lot about death.  A friend’s boss has been diagnosed with bile duct cancer with a slim chance for long term survival.  She is 46 and only found out in December.  For some reason this really hit home for me.  It makes me wonder what the point is for anything we do each day, if it all ends up in misery and pain.

One thing I know for sure, we all must find our own answers to these crucial questions.  No matter what we choose today or for the rest of our lives, we all must die.  This is the fact that helps each of us determine what we will do today.  Can we find meaning in this day’s activities when we know we are like every single person who has come before us?  When we know we will all slip away at the end of our lives, dust to dust.

My most positive response to these realizations is gratitude that I am still here living a relatively healthy life, with the strength and power to do what I can in this moment.  What will that be today?

First I will watch this five minute video to put me in the proper mind set to appreciate everything I will experience today.  You might also consider reading Barbara’s thoughts at Hole in the Donut.  She’s a real inspiration to me!